Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Gotta Have my Bowl, Gotta Have Cereal

Okay I freaking love cereal. I think it took me 19 years to finally realize it, but me and cereal are made for each other. I always knew I was really into milk, especially in the morning. Orange juice was never really my type and I really hated eggs. Eggs are horrible, if I eat a big greasy plate of eggs first thing in the morning it makes me absolutely sick. My stomach is not ready for that much protein and I don't really like the idea of eating what is basically a fetus. Throw abortion argument out the window for now, eating eggs is like 50% eating a fetus, a chicken fetus at that. But cereal, there is some good stuff. If you think back on every single conversation you have ever had with anyone; can you remember one person who did not like cereal? Not like "oh I do not like Cereal A, or Cereal B" but flat out dislikes cereal? NO because it is the best. You might not like all kinds of cereal, but there is most defiantly at least one kind of cereal that you will like, it is avoidable. The spectrum of cereal flavors is overwhelming and over lapping. I had this wonderful realization this morning... I opened the pantry and gazed upon my cereal choices. Now, obviously I have a greater spread available to me since I am an avid cereal eater, but roll with me. I saw before me Captain Crunch Peanut Butter Church, Coca Puffs, and Reese's Puffs. If I want delicious crunchy peanut butter cereal I can have CCPBC (Not part of  the Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик) this sound like a part of the , if I want chocolate crunchy goodness I can have the Coca Puffs. This is where cereal gets super legit; if I want both I can just have Reese's Puffs. So basically every single combination of flavors existed in the cereal market. No other food has that much variety.
Another reason that cereal is better then any other breakfast food is that technically it exists in two states of matter simultaneously. I mean this scientifically and food-in-tifically. It is both hard food and drink at the same time. It is also more or less a solid an a liquid at the same time. If you think of cereal as one entity then it does exist in a bi-state state...state state state. I am out on quite a tangent but I just really love cereal. The best part has to be drinking the leftover milk at the end. Cereal, I know this isn't much but devoting my blog to you is the least I could do. You deserve better and I am humbled by your amazingness.

EDIT: I was stumbleing and found this: http://www.obviouswinner.com/obvwin/2011/6/6/surprise-breakfast-double-yolk-egg-filled-with-fetus-blood.html yah guy cracks a store bought egg on the frying pan and BAM double yolk/fetus with blood. Horrible.

Pink Floyd, Welcome to the Machine

Song is not related, but also pretty darn cool.

-KGM

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